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by Campbell Trio

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1.
A specter was haunting the Trio. Its story began in June of 2012, in a session to record in the form of 11 songs the result of an emotional turmoil that was still silently operating. A series of frustrating setbacks started to materialize when the recording was done, from dissatisfaction with the performances, haunted by these turmoils, to technical problems that lead to the re-recording of all the distorted guitars. As none of the songs had actual lyrics – most were just drafts with ideas to be developed later – the next step would be to finish the writing and record the final vocals. This never happened. Death, loss, cancer happened, and all the pain and confusion that come with it. Suddenly, a recording that had already been subject to demotivation became progressively soaked in these new issues each time the attention of those involved turned to it in an attempt to ease their pain. Slowly the album faded from everyone's attention. During this time, the Trio ceased being a creative force, existing solely as a live band. No rehearsals, no writing, only a few intense live performances. But a specter was haunting the Trio, the ghost of an album. Absent, yet real. In the following years, the subject would eventually appear – "we should try to finish that record" – but never turned into reality. Mostly because the idea was always to finish it: return to its problems, fix it, write and record what was missing, return to a canceled past, a time (even more) out of joint. An enormous effort, both emotional and physical. It was only in a casual conversation, when the record was referred to as lost, instead of unfinished, that a shift of perspective occurred. Lost, it became closed, disappeared before turning into what it was planned to be, frozen in time as it was left, as it was lost. Now, nine years later, the Trio can look at it for what it is, not what they wished it to be. Like a bad tattoo from their adolescence, it is a glimpse of a time long gone. When they rescued these recordings from an old hard drive, they faced a phenomenal disorder of thought and feeling that they did not dare touch. And so this is it – revealed with its improvised vocals and lyrics, its untuned guitars and noisy kick drum, its broken narrative and unbalanced tracklist – the ghost of a record that never came to be. A symbol of life's forgetfulness to remind us how horrible forgetting is.
2.
Remember: keep your head up in the clouds but always feel your feet on the ground. There is a whole world waiting for you here outside, and I know you could embrace it all, make it your own. This road is dark, full of traps and pitfalls, so let the fire in your heart guide you through it when I'm gone, and someday we will meet again at the end of the spectacle. And never ever forget that the only thing capable of shutting your mouth is a kiss. _ "In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni" is a latin palindrome known as 'The Devil's Verse' and it roughly stands for "we wander through the night and are consumed by fire."
3.
Mekas once said "the real life, as they say, or the real people. I never understood them. I still do not understand them. And I don't really want to understand them. Because I really don't know where any piece of my life really belongs, so let it be, let it go. Just by pure chance, disorder.' Like him and Cassavetes, the only truth I know is what I feel.
4.
Why do our eyes never meet? I am blending on the concrete and its shapes. I am moving like fog, not on tracks like trains. Every day, as you pass by, I am removed from your sight. Every night death comes to say 'hi' with a cold blanket, the sky. You may not know – it is a choice to not see – but behind this wounded skin there are also hopes and dreams. _ In geology, an erratic is a rock that differs in type from those around it, having been carried over large distances by long-vanished glaciers. To our friends that live in Praça da Matriz.
5.
No Shape 02:46
Deep inside my chest, there is a constant yearning to go home, and it only gets stronger when I am already there. Do you know my address? Is it there where you undress? The places where I live and the faces that live in me, every frame and every chord, every page and every word, everyone that has touched me or has been touched by me: this is what I call home. _ Before having any lyrics, this song was called "Fake Shemp" – someone who appears in a film as a replacement for another actor or person. This first draft was called "Dérivé", but now a new interpretation of those words come to mind, and its working title became "Quantum Particle" – something that only exists when observed. I hold void. I have no shape. –Elverum, P. 2009.
6.
Clopen Set 01:28
It never is time to wake up. Don't check the clock, dear, the dream is not over yet. If you do, they will cut off your wings and turn you into a sickly human. Just close your eyes and stay because every move that you make is a wall that you break. Yet, remember: it never is time to sleep. _ In topology, a clopen set (a portmanteau of closed-open set) in a topological space is a set which is both open and closed.
7.
They took their bottles, cloth, and gasoline and went out, full of love/blood, ready to live/leave. There was no reason to expect for everything to blow over, a flash, the revolution, a nuclear apocalypse, or a social movement. The party had already begun, and to keep waiting would be a joke: the catastrophe is not to come, but what is presented. And they will watch the city burn tonight. _ “I am awake only in what I love & desire to the point of terror – everything else is just shrouded furniture, quotidian anaesthesia, shit-for-brains, sub-reptilian ennui of totalitarian regimes, banal censorship & useless pain” –Bey, H. Love as arson
8.
Cursed, it was during a global pandemic that this specter started to be reified. As everything with the Trio, if it wasn't for the people around it – friends that insisted on putting out the records, making t-shirts and inviting to play – this album would never come to be. One of the activities from the MFA that one of the Trio's players was taking was to set up a crowdfunding campaign. He reached out the other two to propose making one to fund the pressing of a vinyl version of this album, since putting out an LP in Brazil is something unbelievably expensive. Not believing in the success of the project, they went for it. And, surprisingly, it happened. Not only this, also their friends at Yeah! You! joined the Trio helping with the pressing and the bureaucracy. Yet, again, death, loss, pain, despair and the smashing torture of capital hovered around this album. Once more all the motives to abandon it were overwhelming. But to abandon would mean to live haunted by it. So, even with all the problems – personal and political – that accompanied and delayed the finalization of this record, the Trio endured. In the final stages of its production, their friends at OverAll Rex also joined them to help on the pressing and this album's path finally came to an end. This record is proof that, yes, doing it yourself is important, but doing it together is way more powerful. The future where this record lived hidden as a specter of memories and ones and zeros was canceled, and, finally, this is the Trio's ghost – exorcized in polyvinyl chloride.
9.
Another one is gone, leaving just a relentless feeling. A lack of the passion that used to be here. August will never be the same. We are lost in this crazy and pointless game of lies and numbers, of lies and lives. But our hearts will always skip the score and among these lies and numbers, these lies and lives, we will keep searching for our blue note to find our love supreme. Truth is gone. I miss the shivering. It's been a long time since I last felt it. Sincerity is done. I miss the feeling of communicating without words, of finding ourselves in other's notes, of seeing ourselves in other's eyes. A love supreme. _ The act of resistance has two faces: it is human and it is also artistic. Only the resistance act resists to death, whether in the form of artwork, or in the form of struggle. –Deleuze, G. Archipiélago nº 25, 1995. This is no ordinary love. / And I'm falling. –Folasade Adu, H. 1992.
10.
We left them all behind because no one could keep up with us. "It is you and I versus everybody, it is us versus the squares" we sang. We were destined to be free and never ever sleep. But what we want the most is what we fear the most and it takes courage to go for it. So you let go of my hand and went back to their land. But I know you also suffer from this disease called heart and you don't need to fear dying alone because you will always have a friend in me. _ I longed for a memory beyond consolation, a memory of shadows and stone. –Duras, M. 1959. The memory of an unrecapturable feeling becomes the subject of feeling. –Sontag, S. 1986
11.
When the waters rose and separated us all, it was said that everyone is an island and, thus, currents prevent us from getting closer. But they forgot that, beneath the sea, all the islands join hands and connect with each other. You just have to take a deep breath and have the courage to dive into the depths. _ In the past, this song was called "Divers" and nowadays it is a painful reminder that we are still struggling, more and more each day, with the tides that carry us away from ourselves and each other. Its final title references Mikhail Kalatozov's 1960 film "Неотправленное письмо", released in the west as "Letter Never Sent". Loneliness is impossible. It is inhabited by ghosts. –Vila-Matas, E. 1990.
12.
To a Friend 03:43
Just open the window and let the wind come running to crash against your chest, there is nothing to fear. Know that nothing is bolder than the smile of someone who dares to open the heart and even hurt still care. Nothing can stop you, nothing can beat you, because your weapon is hidden in your chest. The security of a yes when the whole world says no and the certainty that it is known as an absolute truth that life will always be less without you – you can carry it. _ [...] Like you I know what rage feels like, and grief and helplessness... Life is suffering. It is hard. The world is cursed, but still you find reasons to keep living. –Osa to Ashitaka in もののけ姫 (Hayao Miyazaki, 1997).
13.
When I looked into your eyes I saw what no one should see at all. They say "please, more love". Well, I say "please, more hate", because a window pane their love won’t break. All the love in this world is not enough to liberate you: it won’t feed you, it won’t warm you, it won’t heal you, it won’t guard you, it won’t keep you away from the pain. My heart is the size of a fist but it wasn’t enough against the guns. I’m sorry. Humanity won’t be free until the last bureaucrat is dissolved in the blood of the last capitalist.
14.
La Douleur 01:05
I found myself faced with a phenomenal disorder of thought and feeling that I did not dare touch, and, compared to which, literature shames me. –Duras, M. La Douleur. 1985.

about

Originally recorded in 2012, unfinished and forgotten ever since, at last, here is Campbell Trio's full length album.

_
Its story began in June of 2012, in a session to record in the form of 14 songs the result of an emotional turmoil that was still silently operating. A series of frustrating setbacks started to materialize when the recording was done, from dissatisfaction with the performances, haunted by these turmoils, to technical problems that lead to the re-recording of all the distorted guitars. As none of the songs had actual lyrics – most were just drafts with ideas to be developed later – the next step would be to finish the writing and record the final vocals. This never happened.

Death, loss, cancer happened, and all the pain and confusion that come with it. Suddenly, a recording that had already been subject to demotivation became progressively soaked in these new issues each time the attention of those involved turned to it in an attempt to ease their pain. Slowly the album faded from everyone's attention. During this time, the Trio ceased being a creative force, existing solely as a live band. No rehearsals, no writing, only a few intense live performances.

But a specter was haunting the Trio, the ghost of an album. Absent, yet real. In the following years, the subject would eventually appear – "we should try to finish that record" – but never turned into reality. Mostly because the idea was always to finish it: return to its problems, fix it, write and record what was missing, return to a canceled past, a time (even more) out of joint. An enormous effort, both emotional and physical. It was only in a casual conversation, when the record was referred to as "lost", instead of "unfinished", that a shift of perspective occurred. Lost, it became closed, disappeared before turning into what it was planned to be, frozen in time as it was left, as it was lost.

Now, nine years later, the Trio can look at it for what it is, not what they wished it to be. Like a bad tattoo from their adolescence, it is a glimpse of a time long gone. When they rescued these recordings from an old hard drive, they faced a phenomenal disorder of thought and feeling that they did not dare touch. And so this is it – revealed with its improvised vocals and lyrics, its untuned guitars and noisy kick drum, its broken narrative and unbalanced track list – the ghost of a record that never came to be. A symbol of life's forgetfulness to remind us how horrible forgetting is.

credits

released June 4, 2021

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Produced by Campbell Trio.
All songs written, arranged and performed by Campbell Trio.

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Drums and basses engineered and recorded by Mateus Borges in June 2012 at Audiofarm Studios – Viamão, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil.

Guitars engineered and recorded by Diego Poloni in November 2012 at Musicbox Studios – Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil.

Vocals, pianos and percussion engineered and recorded by Diego Poloni in July 2012 at home – Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil.

Additional vocals on "A Loss Supreme" by Júlia Piccoli. Engineered and recorded by Diego Poloni in November 2020 at home – São Paulo, State of São Paulo, Brazil.

Sax on "A Canceled Past" by André Zinelli. Engineered and recorded by Diego Poloni in mid 2014 at Musicbox Studios – Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil.

Trumpet on "A Loss Supreme" by Felipe Vicente. Engineered and recorded by himself in June 2020 at his home – Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil.

Sax on "Our Names Forever on that Wall", "A Canceled Future", "A Loss Supreme", "To a Friend" and "La Douleur" by Ronaldo Pereira. Engineered and recorded by himself at his home – Porto Alegre, Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil.

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Mixed between April and December 2020 by Diego Poloni at home – São Paulo, State of São Paulo, Brazil.

Mastered by Diego Poloni in February 2021 at home – Garopaba, Santa Catarina, Brazil.

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Paintings and design by Rafael Poloni.




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300 Copies /// 12" LP /// 180g

Co-released by the band itself via a successful crowdfunding campaign, Yeah You! and OverAll Records.

Out on August 2021.

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Yeah You! /// yeahyourecords.bandcamp.com
OverAll Rex /// www.instagram.com/bike_age

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Campbell Trio Porto Alegre, Brazil

Very early it was too late for the Campbell Trio.

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